On Naming Assumptions

Credit: Morgan Harper Nichols, artist, poet, musician. Learn more here.

Notions & Contemplations

In the Wonderful World of Financial Modeling (a foreign land I have merely visited), there is a practice that inspires awe: when building a model (aka a spreadsheet with lots of interconnected equations), you must articulate the assumptions upon which your calculations are built. That way, anyone analyzing your work knows exactly where you started from. 

If only we had such a practice in the Wonderful World of Human Interactions! Alas, unnamed assumptions fuel our everyday communication and decision-making, and I dare say we are all worse off for it.

Assumption (noun): a thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof.

Source: Oxford Languages

On the up-side, assumptions are a cousin of heuristics, or mental shortcuts. Faced with an overabundance of information, and a mounting number of decisions to make at any given moment, our brains like heuristics of all flavors. The image below artfully depicts one of my personal faves, the “Availability Heuristic, ” in which we base decisions on recent and readily accessible information rather than the accuracy of said information [see: social media and polarization].

Source: The Decision Lab

When I make a quick decision based on the availability heuristic, confirmation bias (another frequent flier in my head), or an assumption, I imagine my synapses high-fiving each other and gleefully moving on to the next thing. Nothing quite like crossing that item off your to-do list, right? Woohoo! Except…not. 

The Devil is in the Assumptions

Like the Availability Heuristic, assumptions lead to decisions that are, more often than not, inaccurate. When we assume anything, we center our particular experience of the world, which as we know from the last several editions of this here newsletter, is pretty limited. Assumptions may also be based on…gasp…stereotypes. Hard pass!  

In my professional and personal experience, assumptions are one of those simple, everyday habits that cripple effective communication and relationships. When I assume a colleague has a certain intention on a shared project, I rob her of the opportunity to provide her undoubtedly nuanced and informative take. When I assume my friend is experiencing something a certain way, I might miss the boat on how I can best show up for him. 

Name the Assumption, Resolve the Conflict

On the flip side, when I take a moment to name–and apologize for–mistaken assumptions, I’ve often found an effective path out of conflict. A quick example for your consideration:

You’re at odds with a co-worker. They’re late on a deadline. You assume they aren’t taking the project seriously and have been procrastinating. They assume you know they’ve experienced a personal setback that has taken a mental toll. Neither one of you is happy about the current state of things, and one or both of you is probably experiencing some degree of shame, which further debilitates the working relationship.  The next time you check in, you lean into productive empathy, recognize the limitation of your view, and get a little vulnerable by saying “listen, I don’t want to make any assumptions about what’s on your plate. How can I help?” In so doing, you’ve stepped out of the comfort zone afforded by our assumptions and created space for alignment.

By pausing to name and question the assumptions that underlie our respective perspectives, we can clear the air and engage more effectively.  

One of the reasons that assumptions, and heuristics of all kinds, are so tempting, is that they have an air of efficiency..and boy do I LOVE efficiency!

Next month, more on the challenging tension between efficiency and inclusion in leadership and, well, humaning...

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Photo Credi: Kathleen Warren

Hello. My Name is Beignet. I recently joined Caroline & Beau’s family. I don’t have much to offer on this month’s Notions & Contemplations, but it’s a very safe assumption that I want to play with you.

If you’re in the Charleston area, don’t miss the Southeastern premiere of “Sounds of Hazel,” performed by the Dance Theater of Harlem at the Charleston Gaillard Center on October 20th (today!) and 21st (tomorrow!). The ballet honors the life of jazz singer, actress, and activist Hazel Scott a century after her birth. (Full Disclosure: The Southern Equity Collective is honored to be working with the Gaillard on exploring and actualizing their commitment to equity and inclusion, just one part of which is their incredible programming.) Get your tickets here.

I’m VERY excited about the arrival of “Listening in the Dark: Women Reclaiming the Power of Intuition,” by writer, actor, activist, and all around delightful human Amber Tamblyn. The anthology features essays from some names you’ll know, some you won’t, all offering guidance on how we return to our ancient and sacred source of wisdom in a world crowded with…less awesome stuff. Brush up on the “literary medication to help chronic conditions associated with being alive” here and pre-order at the link above.

And coming in November…the very first holiday gift guide from yours truly! I know you can’t wait! ;)