On True Things

Credit: I don’t know Simon Holland, but I couldn’t agree with him more on this particular point.

Notions & Contemplations

Returning to the True Things

Is it just me, or does January feel like the longest month of the year? And particularly this January? Uncontained fires, the death of heroes, bewildering government transitions, woooooooof. New goal for 2025: channel the Godfather of Soul’s energy for Living in America.

I suppose one upside to existential exhaustion is that it strips us bare—right down to the things that we know in our bones are true. As President Carter’s grade-school teacher, Ms. Julia Coleman, wisely taught him, “We must adjust to changing times and still hold to unchanging principles.” Amen, Ms. Coleman; and thank you for your service.

The times are indeed a-changin’—and so I have been thinking a lot about my “unchanging principles.” What ideas or beliefs can I hold close as a trusty compass in the wilds of 2025?

For one, I have to keep reminding myself of the Buddhist truism, often cited in these musings, that the only constant in life is change; and consequently, adaptation is key to survival (thank you, Sir Darwin).

For example: let’s say you have a new boss with a totally different management style. Your old way of working doesn’t cut it anymore. Do you abandon your priorities and stop working altogether? No–you adapt your technique, maybe even your timeline, and still try as you might to accomplish those priorities.

HHDL in My Tired Head

Of course, change can be exhausting; especially when you were just starting to get used to how things were, and the new boss is particularly tiresome. That’s when I keep hearing His Holiness the Dalai Lama in my head: “My religion is kindness.”

No matter the tenor of the new boss, those around us, or, you know, public discourse as a whole, we can always choose kindness. The trick, I think, is in recognizing that we do in fact have a choice. Viktor Frankl—the Hungarian psychologist, Holocaust survivor, and author of one of my all-time favorite books Man’s Search for Meaning —shared this wisdom: “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

Create the space to make the kindest choice.

There is no question that we are all experiencing a constant barrage of stimuli right now. Which means we are constantly, subconsciously being asked to respond. In some cases we make our response known to the outside world; in other cases, we mentally file it away, where it will surely influence thoughts or actions later.

Either way, one of my intentions this year is to channel my responses through a filter of kindness–first to myself and second to others. Whether the stimulus elicits rage, devastation, disappointment, or delight, I get to decide what to do with it. Some days, the kindest thing is to pick up the rage and turn it into action. Other days, the kindest move is to set the devastation down and take a nap. After all, warriors need to be well-rested.

What I mean to say is this: there is no one right way to respond to this or any moment of particularly intense change. But when we create the space between stimulus and response, we have the opportunity to return to a true thing: kindness—to ourselves and to those in our orbit—is a choice that is physiologically better for us and will, undoubtedly, help us adapt in these bewildering times.

What are your “unchanging principles” during moments of change? I’d love to hear from you.

Onward,

P.S. When all else fails, remember that Bob Dylan wrote these lyrics in 1963, and they are as true now as they were then.

The line it is drawn

The curse it is cast

The slow one now

Will later be fast

As the present now

Will later be past

The order is rapidly fadin'

And the first one now

Will later be last

For the times they are a-changin'

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On My Kindle + Feed + Calendar

The “One Touch Rule”...

…Sometimes Instagram’s algorithm really does serve up exactly what I need. This tiny hack-turned-habit is already improving my life.

When it really feels like every little thing is falling apart…

…Instagram reads my mind once again. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve listened to this little guy (@RyClarkie) and felt better as a result.

And on the topic of Instagram…

…I highly recommend changing your settings within the mobile app to set a daily limit on mindless scrolling (mine is 15 minutes). I have so much of my life back!

Speaking of mindless scrolling…

I’m super excited for my friend Chris Hayes’ latest book, The Sirens’ Call: How Attention Became the World’s Most Endangered Resource, out on January 28th. As a person whose actual job is to hold people’s attention, Chris explores our pursuit of distraction, avoidance of being still with our minds, and how mega-companies are preying on “our deepest neurological structures.” Read his recent NYT piece and pre-order The Sirens’ Call here.

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A Poem for January

A House Called Tomorrow

Alberto Ríos, inaugural Poet Laureate of Arizona

You are not fifteen, or twelve, or seventeen—

You are a hundred wild centuries

And fifteen, bringing with you

In every breath and in every step

Everyone who has come before you,

All the yous that you have been,

The mothers of your mother,

The fathers of your father.

If someone in your family tree was trouble,

A hundred were not:

The bad do not win—not finally,

No matter how loud they are.

We simply would not be here

If that were so.

You are made, fundamentally, from the good.

With this knowledge, you never march alone.

You are the breaking news of the century.

You are the good who has come forward

Through it all, even if so many days

Feel otherwise.  But think:

When you as a child learned to speak,

It’s not that you didn’t know words—

It’s that, from the centuries, you knew so many,

And it’s hard to choose the words that will be your own.

From those centuries we human beings bring with us

The simple solutions and songs,

The river bridges and star charts and song harmonies

All in service to a simple idea:

That we can make a house called tomorrow.

What we bring, finally, into the new day, every day,

Is ourselves.  And that’s all we need

To start.  That’s everything we require to keep going.

Look back only for as long as you must,

Then go forward into the history you will make.

Be good, then better.  Write books.  Cure disease.

Make us proud.  Make yourself proud.

And those who came before you?  When you hear thunder,

Hear it as their applause.