On Intentions

Image courtesy of Dixon Rye’s “Quiet Decency” email, 1/15/23

Through me course wide rivers and in me rise tall mountains. And beyond the thickets of my agitation and confusion there stretch the wide plains of my peace and surrender. All landscapes are within me. And there is room for everything.

-Etty Hillesum

(NB: worth reading about her here.)

Notions & Contemplations

Nearly one month into 2023, I can confirm that I’m not great at keeping New Year’s resolutions. In a long, windy pursuit of self-improvement, I have [finally] learned to avoid unrealistic goals that will end in disappointment and self-criticism. Instead, I’m inclined towardsintentions. I’d ratherintendto do something thanresolveto do it. Feels more spacious, right?

But here’s the thing about intentions: you can’t just set them; you have to remind yourself of them.All. The. Time.That way, the brain doesn't keep defaulting to its old, pesky ways. In my case, reminders take the form of post-it notes around my computer screen. What works for me may not work for you, but I thought I’d offer my intentions for 2023, in case they resonate with you.

Slow down.

When making plans, when making an argument, whenever. Slow it all down, giving myself space tobe curious. Deep breaths help: in through the nose, I find an onramp to presence; out through the mouth, I find release from the grip of hurried thoughts. 

Be curious.

In moments of frustration or conflict [with myself or others]: Drop in and survey the scene. Where is the emotion coming from? Am I making an assumption when I could be asking a question [of myself or others]? Remember we are only human, and we are all learning as we go. 

Find levity.

Life is exhausting. Headlines are depressing, obligations are real, and the ego is never satisfied. When I feel myself getting low, take the cue and correct course. Step out of the hamster wheel, and have a solo dance party. Put down the challenging self-help book, and pick up the novel. Walk away from the computer, and go outside. Call a friend, without agenda or purpose. Fill my cup, so I can keep filling others’.

Speaking of slowing down and checking the ego…

You do not need to know precisely what is happening, or exactly where it is all going. What you need is to recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment, and to embrace them with courage, faith, and hope.

-Thomas Merton

On My Kindle + Feed + Calendar

This month, a winter offering from the great Rainer Maria Rilke:

LET THIS DARKNESS BE A BELL TOWER by Rainer Maria Rilke Quiet friend who has come so far, feel how your breathing makes more space around you. Let this darkness be a bell tower and you the bell. As you ring, what batters you becomes your strength. Move back and forth into the change. What is it like, such intensity of pain? If the drink is bitter, turn yourself to wine. In this uncontainable night, be the mystery at the crossroads of your senses, the meaning discovered there. And if the world has ceased to hear you, say to the silent earth: I flow. To the rushing water, speak: I am.