On Human Perennials: Procrastinitus
- Caroline Mauldin
- May 22, 2024
- 6 min read
Updated: Sep 27
Notions & Contemplations
It’s Spring! To-do list be damned, the very air is calling us to frolic in the sunshine! Be gone, pesky administrative tasks. See ya later, scary deliverables and exasperating obligations.
Except, wait: is that a sudden onset of procrastinitus I’m feeling? An affliction affecting, well, every person I’ve ever met. Procrastination is one of those perennial problems that pops up when we need it the least. And though the symptoms are the same–delay or total avoidance of the inevitable–I’ve found the underlying causes to be many and varied. To name a few:
I’m overwhelmed by the sheer length of my to-do list (so I’ll avoid it).
I’m intimidated by the size of the project I’m supposed to be conquering with ease (so I’ll avoid it).
I’m annoyed by the fact that I have to do this thing (so I’ll avoid it).
I’m bored by this project. (Soooo, guess what?)
I’m tired. (And I deserve a snack.)
Let me first say that all of these are perfectly valid feelings–and that there are plenty of moments to indulge them. But be forewarned: overindulgence may result in sloth-like behavior, over-snacking, and/or total loss of productivity/gainful employment. So what do we do instead?
In the face of procrastinitus, we shall prevail. As with most perennial challenges, the only way out is through. Defeating procrastination takes first naming it (easy enough) and then really interrogating it (less easy): what’s driving that sense of overwhelm/intimidation/annoyance/boredom/exhaustion?
In my experience, it’s often due to one underlying truth: I’ve lost the connection between the task at hand, however small or large, and a larger purpose. For example:
The Task: The absolute, unparalleled pain of doing one’s taxes.
The Feeling: Intimidation and Fear with a healthy sprinkling of Annoyance.
The Larger Purpose: Staying out of jail (and being a good citizen).
Or
The Task: The seemingly enormous task of summarizing the results of a recent project into a shareable report for your colleagues.
The Feeling: Overwhelm with a touch of…Boredom.
The Larger Purpose: Your ability to influence and/or contribute to the efforts of your team/organization/industry/community/world.
In any case, the loss of connection to a larger purpose can be compounded by the sense of the task outgrowing itself: the unwritten email that you swear is going to swallow your day, when really it will take five minutes; the first draft that feels like it will take all morning, when spending 15 minutes drafting an outline suddenly shrinks it to a half-hour undertaking; or the registration form that appears to require a Sherlock Holmes investigation but really just needs ten minutes of your undivided attention.
No matter the driver of one’s tendency to procrastinate, here are some tried-and-true strategies to trick yourself into productivity:
As described above, connect the task to a larger purpose and/or the fundamental values that motivate and anchor your work, e.g. “By finishing this report, I will be one step closer to retiring on a tropical island.”
Consider what it is costing you to postpone the task, and use that cost as motivation: “If I wait and do this tomorrow, I’ll probably be up all night thinking about it, then I’ll be tired tomorrow AND I’ll have to work late to get it done. Conversely: By doing it now, I’ll sleep well tonight, leave on time tomorrow, and give myself bonus points for solid self-care.”
Disrupt your process. Instead of drafting that dreaded email at the same desk where you slog through a thousand emails per day, change your environment. Sit on the floor or a park bench. Take yourself to a cafe with the commitment that you will not leave until the email is written.
Find an accountability buddy. Maybe it’s the proprietor of the aforementioned cafe. Or a friend who has absolutely zero connection to the task at hand. Enlist them in your cause. Ask them to give you a [reasonable, mutually agreed upon] deadline–and then give them permission to haze you if the deadline passes without accomplishment.
And my personal favorite: imagine the feeling of sweet, sweet victory when the task is complete and the item is crossed off your To Do list. Really, is there anything better?
Onward,
On My Kindle + Feed + Calendar
Sincere thanks to everyone who responded to April’s newsletter with parenting tips and favorite children’s books. As promised, here’s the compilation, all of which I am actively using in my first two weeks as a mom!
Parenting Advice
Reframe the hard stuff as "I get to... <get up in the night / rock my baby to sleep...>" rather than "I have to." Parenting suddenly becomes a privilege to relish, rather than a chore to endure and this shift in attitude transformed it into a magical experience for me.
There are no rules. You figure it out the best you can. Shake off the judgment of those who went before. They don’t know you, your body, your partner, your baby, or your inner feelings. You do you. It’ll work out; babies are pretty resilient. In laws and family members get over themselves (eventually).
Take care of yourself and your marriage. That latter one is going to be harder and harder. Cherish one another and the moments together. The good and the bad. The baby will get a lot of attention, but make sure you make time for the things that matter to you before the little one shows up.
Just love that little bundle of joy to pieces. The rest will work itself out.
My favorite things in the world are spending time with my children and spending time not with my children. Don't feel guilty for prioritizing both.
"Don't make a big deal out of anything that won't matter in 10 years." What mattered: values, kindness, respect, etc. What wouldn't matter in 10 years: a temper tantrum in the grocery, cowboy boots at church, a weird haircut, the perfect swaddling cloth.
"Don't be upset if your children attach to their caregivers." I was having guilt as a working mom, but our nanny was great so if the kids loved her, too, that had to be okay.
"The goal of a parent is not to create a happy child but to create a responsible adult." Emotions won't hurt them. They need to learn "no," experience normal human emotions, and deal with them.
Let go of expectations and don’t let a tough moment ruin the rest of the moments. Parenting is a series of moments that change quickly, so try to be in it and enjoy it as much as you can. And learn to be good at apologizing when you have a tough moment and react poorly.
You cannot spoil a baby. I don’t know what parenting books are saying these days, but know and believe that everything your baby is telling you is the truth. Believe him.
Let go of expectations” - it’s been so unbelievably humbling to become a mother and all sorts of things I vowed I would never do and things I judged other parents for doing I now do in spades. So I have learnt never to judge others, and to take the pressure off oneself.
Follow your gut and your own decisions. Advice by committee (friends and family) is often conflicting, confusing, and made my head spin.
Try to remember: every kid is different & it’s all just a phase. Take all of the tips / pointers / advice about sleeping, eating, playing, etc. with a grain of salt and trust your gut.
Children’s Books
Paper Dolls and The Snail and The Whale by Julia Donaldson
Anything at all by Mo Willems
Princess Daisy & The Dragon & The Nincompoop Knights by Steven Lenton
Wow! Said The Owl by Tim Hopgood
all of the Andrea Beaty books (Rosie Revere Engineer, Iggy Peck Architect etc)
The Empty Stocking by Richard Curtis
Jack & The Flumflum Tree by Julia Donaldson
What The Ladybird Heard by Julia Donaldson
The Kissing Hand
Llama Llama Red Pajama
Three Little Engines
Blub
Blub Fish
Giraffes can’t dance
Peck, peck, peck
The Bear Came Along
Gruffalo
This is Not My Hat
On the Night You Were Born by Nancy Tillman
I Am Bat
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